I Love This Boys Eyelashes(They remind me of Snuffleupagus) First Night In Big Boy Bed!More Snuffy =) This wasn't by choice, I was forced, by Nolan. He's been climbing in and out of his crib for quite sometime now so it became a safety issue. Liv was out of her crib at Nolan's age, but there's something about the second born. Instead of anticipating every milestone or stage, I want time to freeze every now and then, no rushing! Like I said, he was becoming a little monkey with the crib, in fact, when he'd climb back in, it was as if he was in track participating in the pole vault! He'd just run for it and then practically do a back flip into the crib, that's Nolan for ya. So last weekend Shane took his crib down. I couldn't even watch, it seriously made me sick to my stomach, I had to leave the room. The thought that the crib may never be used again in this family just crushes my heart, it has so much history. After Shane took it down he brought me all the bedding, bumper, crib skirt, etc...for the wash~I told him that I couldn't look at that either. My baby is growing up...sniff sniff :( I do have to say he's so darn cute in his wee sleigh bed, it suites him. While he is safer now, he's also a little excited about the freedom of not having to be lifted out of his bed. The other morning we heard a "flick" in his bedroom around 6:30 AM. There was light coming from underneath the door. We walked in and he was sitting on the floor with one of his books. Children are precious, but there's something about when they're sleeping. Nolan hardly ever falls asleep anywhere but his bed(or ours,) or the car. He asked Shane to wrap him like a burrito the other day on the couch and within 10 minutes he was sleeping sound. He did it again today when he was downstairs watching a show. I just want to squeeze him even harder when his cheeks are warm, his breathing is relaxed and his little mouth open, what is it about sleeping babies? I COULD JUST EAT!
These are some of the pictures we dug out for the slideshow at my grandpa's funeral. I tried really hard to put all these pictures in chronological order, then my computer crashed and I lost all my work, and blog entry...arggg! So, sorry that the slideshow is kind of random. I did the best I could!
It has been just about a month now since my Grandpa Leo passed away. Most of you that are reading this know how it all began and ended, and if you don't know, I'll try and make it brief. The 4 weeks that he spent in the hospital were packed full of obstacles, but here is the shortest description of what happened.
This wasn't an expected passing. Sure my grandpa was getting up there in age (82 yrs old,) but had a mind that was as sharp as a tack still. His body however was definitely showing signs of age, especially his eyesight over the last year or so. This nightmare of a situation began right before Christmas when my grandpa was experiencing, and complaining of horrible stomach pain. Nonetheless, he ended up in ER that very same night and had emergency surgery do to a blood clot in his colon. Well, everything started to go downhill from there on out. After his surgery, he was having a hard time breathing on his own. They kept him inhibited, on the ventilator for a few days until they felt he was strong enough to breath on his own again. He was in ICU during that time. On Christmas night, he seemed off(that's what my mom and auntie Jeanette were saying.) He was having difficulty breathing and at this point was off the ventilator. Within an hour, he stopped breathing and coded. The staff at the hospital brought him back, but we were certain that he'd pass within a day or 2 at point because his body was starting to shut down in areas. While all the machines were doing the work for him, you could still tell he was fighting away. Needless to say because he's a stubborn, strong, Mexican, lion of a man, he came out of this and they even moved him from ICU to the acute floor. However, he didn't last long on that floor. Back to ICU he went. The reasons began to get more complex. Collapsed lungs, barely any lung capacity, and his GI tract wasn't healing the way the surgeons had hoped for. He started to become a very ill man. Within a week or so he coded again, was intubated again, and took a turn for the worst. At that point he had severe pneumonia in both lungs, there was no blood flow going through his GI tract, his kidney and liver were started to shut down, and to top it off, had Mersa flowing through his bloodstream. With all those things against him, we at that point knew what the outcome would be. Definitely not what we'd hoped for, or had even thought would happen initially. He was such a fighter, and fought his hardest until the very end. The doctors and staff gave him a nickname in the hospital, they kept calling him Rocky. The ongoing joke was that nobody would want to be in the boxing ring with him...because they'd lose!
My family had to make some very difficult decisions in the days to follow. My heart is aching for my mom. I truly don't think she will ever get over what she just experienced with her Dad. She kept saying she thought he'd get out of the hospital, sleep in his own bed, take his little walks to the mailbox, go to De Leon with her for lunch, & go to Safeway for his coffee and donuts during the week. I think we're all still shocked. I am grateful however, for the time I got to spend with my grandpa during his final days. I camped out at the hospital for the better half of 4 weeks to be with him, and my family. I was able to get some closure with him, and even got to speak with him before he passed. Something beautiful that I take away from this is that I learned more about my grandpa during that 4 weeks than I ever had before, and felt the closest to him as I ever have thus far. Leo had one of the biggest hearts, would truly give you the last dollar out of his pocket, and never judged people. He has the sweetest voice and always called us his "hija and/or hijo." Pronounced mija(mee hah) and mijo(mee hoh) which means my girl/boy. Rarely did he call me by name. I loved his accent! He will be missed immensely. Not since the birth of my children have I experienced such an intense, & emotional moment. I was telling Shane that watching my grandpa take his last breath was similar in the sense that you have a team, coaching you through bringing life in to this world, and my family and I were there doing everything we could to give my grandfather every ounce of comfort that we were capable of. It was so difficult to watch, but oddly, I'm grateful I was there with him. I(we)still can't believe he's gone. With sadened hearts we said goodbye. I do know that his is free as a bird now, happy, and living again. The Priest at his funeral said something like this "Leo is home now, with his porch light on, waiting for all of his loved one's to come home." I imagine he is, and know that one day I can see him again, and he'll say to me "hi hija" and maybe I'll even eat some of his green chilies and homemade refried beans. That may sound really weird, but it puts a smile on my face.
Mom, if you're reading this...I love you so much and words cannot express how sorry I am for your loss(for our loss.) I hope that you will find comfort in the memories you have of grandpa and that they will help you find peace in your heart.
Brandi Carlile is one of my favorite singers. Her voice is so amazing, never a flaw! She has one of those voices that I could fall asleep to everynight because it's so beautiful. Not everyone can sing completely unplugged and send chills down your spine and make you want to cry all at the same time. I also LOVE Katie Herzig and she opened for Brandi again. I saw them both last year at the Fox with the Spokane Symphony. One of my besties treated me to VIP Brandi Carlile tickets a couple weeks ago~THANKS JEN! It was another brilliant concert! Not to mention, a much needed night out with a good friend. There were a couple other girls who came along, another friend of ours from J.H., H.S., and WSU, Jenna, and Deanna(A friend I met through Jen.) Jenny always knows how to make me laugh, and brings out the goofiest side of me =) It was nice to have some laughter and joy after a strange, and intense month of, well...Mess!Jenny & I(You'll notice my nostrils are flaring and my eyes are squinted, because Jen has me in stitches over something I can't write on this blog.
Katie Herzig!Brandi Carlile, she's so cute, I love her style! I took this picture because this lady's annoying, terrible hair kept getting in the way of my view. Oh how I wanted to hand her my hairdresser's card! Get out of the 80's! Not to mention she and her 80's bf kept making out, it was gross! Another fun moment when we could be immature and play because we weren't with our kids =) These girls=TROUBLE!
I'm relaxing at the moment, the first time in what feels like weeks. Nearly pure bliss, a cup of tea, laying by the fire, Shane next to me...but the headache ruins it a bit. Lots of Christmas pictures to post but I definitely don't want to write underneath each so here's the rundown on our Christmas, or at least the picture part~ *Olivia so excited that Santa ate his cookies and drank most of his milk, and that Rudolph ate his carrots. *Kids digging into their stockings, and tearing open their gifts. I love the surprised, and curious looks on their faces! *Shane got me a tripod, I'm so excited! No more borrowing tripods from friends. *We got together with my family at my brother Derek's house. The kids celebrated Jesus' birthday. We had cupcakes, and singing, it was very sweet. *Had Christmas in January with Shane's side of the family. There are some goofy pics in this mix. My brother-in-law Bryan is a crack up. He and the kids were playing "The Lone Ranger." So that's why they have fake pistols in their hands. There are some sweet pictures too. Olivia and her cousin Evan have become pretty good buds over the last year. My kids are so lucky to have so many cousins here in town. I absolutely cherished the time I spent with my cousins growing up. I hope my kids do the same! *A group shot of the Walker, Sander, and Lofstedt family. Wasnt' able to get one with my side of the family. My brothers Noel and Joe were not in town this year for Christmas. We all missed them!!! Sadly, you won't see any pictures of my parents either. My grandpa(my mama's Dad,) has been very ill and in the hospital for nearly 2 weeks. We've spent day after day at the hospital for the last week and a half. It's a sad time for my Mom right now, my heart breaks for her. My parents are so sleep deprived, they've stayed at the hospital nearly every night with my Grandpa Leo~bless their hearts! Needless to say, my mom wasn't in the Christmas spirit this year, and I don't blame her. I hope that the beginning of your new year finds you healthy, happy, & blessed. Wishing you all a HaPpY 2010. May this year be even better than last!
I Love This Boys Eyelashes(They remind me of Snuffleupagus)
First Night In Big Boy Bed!
More Snuffy =)
